Happy Hats & Advent Grinches

Behold, all ye who enter here, the Hat of Happiness:

The Hat of Happiness hath been given unto me by mine sweetheart, and mine sweetheart hath decreed the Hat shall be worn at whatsoever time I am in moods not of the endearing kind, and the Hat shall sway the darkness of mine temper and sweeten the disposition of mine self.

Also, mine sweetheart shall therefore be warned by mine adornment in the Hat of Happiness of the dangerous waters into which he may be sailing.

 

 So hath it been decreed, so shall it be done.

It totally works, too, ya'll. I mean, just today I was in a not-so-chipper mood, and I put on the hat. Then I says to myself in the middle of an inner complain sesh,

Me: "Self, what is that on your head?"
Self: *pauses to consider* "It is a hat."
Me: "With two pom-poms?"
Self *pauses again to consider again* "Yes, in fact, it is a hat with two pom-poms."
Me: "So, what is the problem again?"
Self: *pauses for a considerable amount of time to consider* "Nothing. Actually, nothing."
Me: "Well, there we have it."

And so it goes. Really quite brilliant, that sweetheart of mine. Quite. Brilliant.

I need it fairly often. I've only had it four days and, already, I have needed it quite often. But, sometimes, I do not need it.

Like, for example, when Christmas attacks me.

Now, I could be all, DUDEHELLOITISADVENTNOOOOTCHRISTMAS!!!

But I do not need my Hat of Happiness for that. Because I do not feel like that.

Now, I love Christmas. I do.

And I actually love Advent even more. Advent is My Very Favorite Ever. See last year's December blog posts for proof.

I had a little "moment" about a week before Thanksgiving. There was a tree. A Christmas tree. A decorated Christmas tree. A week before Thanksgiving.

For half a second I froze up with the onset of frustration: what the heck happened to Thanksgiving?

The next half second, something occurred to me. I mulled it over quite a bit, and started discussing it with that brilliant sweetheart of mine. My conclusion was that people setting up Christmas shop so incredibly early does not make me angry.

It does make me sad in a certain way, but not angry. I get super more bothered by Christmas evaporating on December 26th than I do about it appearing on November 26th. But that is another post for another time. The reason it makes me sad is that I think, buried down in the hype is an earnest hunger for what we call "Advent."

Now, okay okay, I do know that all this craziness is significantly due to commercialism and consumerism and Americanism and whatevertheheckelseism you want to blame it on. But as someone told me once: in every convincing lie, there must be a grain of truth.

I know there seems to be some ever-present overhead-announcer-voice shrieking: "Hurry hurry hurry get ready the holidays are coming!" However, I think it's arguable that the reason people listen to that driving, screaming overhead-announcer-voice is that, deep in their hearts there is an aching whisper of, "Get ready, He's coming."

Now, as Catholics we should be as accustomed as it is possible to be to living the liturgical calendar within the goings-on of the secular one.

Every spring, we suddenly show up wearing dirt on our foreheads one Wednesday and shunning meat on Fridays. Different feast days find Catholics processing through downtown city streets with what look to outsiders like a Jewish wedding canopy over a giant gold sunburst. Catholics are weird, man. And I love it. Weirdness attracts attention, and if we handle the attention right, we get to start a conversation, and if we handle the conversation right, we get to do that Catholic thing. You know, THAT Catholic thing: evangelize.

You didn't know that was a Catholic thing?

Dude. Meet Advent.

I heard a priest speak very beautifully last weekend about the importance of our living faithfully the Advent season. But I do not suppose that he meant I am to run around freaking out every time somebody busts out a Christmas tree or a snowman or a Santa Claus is comin' to town. I'm going to (try to) smile calmly, live my Advent, move in peace and joy, and when somebody says "Merry Christmas!" I'm going to say, "You too, and a blessed Advent!" and if they ask me about that, then I get to do that Catholic thing. Or if people talk about how stressed they are, or how tough the holidays are since they lost a loved one or a job or a home, then I can listen, and maybe have a chance afterwards to share some Advent.

I mentioned in the last paragraph that I'm going to "live my Advent." In case you're looking for ideas, I thought I'd share some of my favorites. :)

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1. Advent at Ephesus - Benedictines of Mary, Queen of the Apostles.

From their website: "We never cease to marvel at the wonderful, unexpected blessings which Divine Providence prepares for our community. The story of this Advent recording is another striking example. Truly our Divine Spouse orders all things 'mightily and sweetly,' as we chant just days before Christmas in one of the beautiful “O” Antiphons of the Church’s Advent liturgy."

Singing cloistered nuns who tell their story like that...How can you resist? You just can't. I've already listened a few times through in our whole four days of Advent. If you get on Spotify you can listen to the whole album free before you cave and buy the CD. I especially love "O Come, Divine Messiah" and "Gabriel's Song." Go listen now, you can thank me later.

Also, silence is good. Try some of that, too.

2. Advent of the Heart - Father Alfred Delp

Don't even get me started, I could go on forever. I love this book. So. Much. I discovered it last year and was itching to pull it back out this year. There's the actual book from Ignatius Press or a Kindle version. It could be argued that I have an addiction to the Kindle app on my iPad mini but for this I like the actual book...enjoying seeing my highlights from last year. Full of profoundly challenging, achingly beautiful words: "Advent is a time of being deeply shaken, so that man will wake up to himself." If this book doesn't get you in the Advent spirit...I...can't even talk to you.

3. 2013 Magnificat Advent Companion

Back to my arguable addiction to the Kindle app on the iPad mini. This one is short and sweet and doled out in daily doses. Also $0.99. There are paper versions of this too, if you must.

4. Advent wreath

This might seem obvious, but, apparently there are some questions about how one goes about such an enterprise. I've been running across these questions lately. I shall therefore address them forthwith: at my house, we kick it like as follows.

We have a very simple ring for the 4 candles, kinda like this:

Mom circles the frame in faux greenery, we get three violets and a rose (candles) from Hobby Lobby, and then set La Virgen de Buena Esperanza in the center. Like so:

Yes, those are guns in the background. Peace on Earth, yo. Texas Style.

And please keep in mind for your candles that it's three violets and a rose, not three purples and a pink. There are pink candles and rose candles. Get rose. When you see them you'll know of what I speak.

Or Google it and order a set from someone. Whatever.

5. Mass. Not only for Sundays.

Daily Mass is amazing. I particularly love it during November and December. November is pretty much my favorite month for liturgical readings. (Maccabees, anyone? Every year, you guys. It never gets old.) But Advent is also really beautiful. No Maccabees, but there's plenty of excitement to go around. Yesterday was the Centurion soldier, which took on some fresh interest after reading Dear and Glorious Physician, which we should discuss sometime. Plus at Mass there's the Eucharist, and Who is better for getting you ready for Jesus than...Jesus? Nobody, that's who. If you can make it, you won't be sorry you went.

6. Mary

Say some Memorares. Or decades. Or Rosaries. Or check out the Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary. Or renew your Consecration. (There's actually a free podcast on iTunes which I love to use from Rosary Army - they even have a priest who helps lead the prayers for the different days. Makes it much easier to keep up.) You could even take some flowers to a church and set them next to one of her pictures, like you would your mom's picture at home. Something. Because the other person who's really good at getting you ready for Jesus is His Mother. If you want to live Advent powerfully, live it the way the original Advent was done: with Mary.

7. ST. JOSEPH

I love St. Joseph. I love him, just, so much. One of my friends once told me, "You want to pray the Joyful Mysteries in a whole new way? Meditate with St. Joseph." Boom. Or the Litany to St. Joseph...Check it out, you guys. And please do not even get started with thinking he's some old man. The Pillar of Families an old cripple leaning on a twisted staff? The Guardian of the Virgin stumbling around in infirmity? God sending His Son and His Son's Mother across the desert into Egypt with an elderly gent on death's doorstep? Do you really think we call him "Joseph most Chaste" because he was just too old to care that Mary was the most radiant woman ever to walk the earth? Uhhh...NO. Big fat no. As in no way. I imagine there is an incredibly good reason the Church calls him the Terror of Demons, and I highly doubt it was because he was a sweet-faced old man.

This is more like it.

Somebody guided the God-Man's hands in His first carpentry work, and that somebody was our very own Model of Artisans. Think about that.

Glory of the Domestic Life and Solace of the Wretched - pray for us.

 

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I'm not suggesting you do all of these, but I am suggesting them in hopes you'll be inspired to look around and CHOOSE something, and then DO it. Take up a devotion. Fast from something. Pray a little more than you were. Instead of complaining about Christmas being turned into a booming business, let's live this Advent season with good penitential Catholic joy. That joy and peace will be the beginning of helping the world understand the real, deep hunger that it has, and of leading all to the One who alone can satisfy.

7 Quick Takes - Dos Shot

Joining the big link up!

1. You may or may not have noticed (hopefully you may) but...*drumroll please*...the blog got a makeover! I think it's pretty epic looking now and you can let me know how much you absolutely love it and, OOPS, I mean, *ahem* you can let me know what you think.

2. But what does it mean?!? I mean the makeover, what does the makeover mean. Wellllp, I'm glad you asked! The background is a picture of part of the cathedral in Compostella, where the Camino ends. Coming to that cathedral at the end of my five days on the Camino was a profound moment for me, and I don't think I'll ever forget it. Hopefully someday I'll be able to go back and do the whole thing. The header at the top has pictures of three gentlemen, at least two of whom you are familiar with if you actually read this blog everatall: Blessed Miguel Pro (the one being shot with his arms extended) and my Pier Giorgio (the one grinning his handsome face off). The other and less familiar tiny one up in the top right corner is a picture of St. Edmund Campion's martyrdom, which is the picture they put next to the word "stalwart" in the dictionary.

Well, not really, but they should.

3. I forget how I stumbled across Cassie Pease Designs, but they are a real treat and I love when she posts her new work on Facebook. She does everything with pictures and quotes of saints, and releases them in formats for cover photos, wallpapers, and so on. She released this one on Tuesday to celebrate Blessed-soon-to-be-Saint John Paul II's feast day, reminding me why I follow her on Faceook:

I know you love it. Go check her out.

4. Advent. Is. Coming!!!! Ok, ok, I mean, for me, Advent is pretty much coming as soon as Christmas is over, since Advent is myveryfavoriteEVER. And once October rolls around I get fairly excited fairly regularly. This particular time it was because I realized Advent approaching meant I could soon pull out my Fr. Alfred Delp book, which I gushed over quite a bit last Advent, as you can see here. And/or here. Anyway, soon I can get it out and fall in love with it all over again. Last year I didn't quite finish it, maybe this year I'll make it all the way through. I'm sure you'll be hearing about it either way. Be excited.

5. This song makes me smile. Every. Single. Time. So, now here, you can too.

You're welcome.

6. My friend Lauren Enriquez, pro-life writer extraordinaire, did a piece the other day which I got a big kick out of, so I'm linking in order for you to enjoy as well. I like following her anyways but when I saw the title, "USA Today op-ed: Stop scaring women who want to have kids", I knew I was going to enjoy it. A post after my own heart.

7. I found this and I super-love St. Josemaria Escriva always always, we're totes BFFs.

Seriously though, most likely you've heard me lament at some point that he has a knack for saying things that make me go, "Ouch. Thank you. And...Ouch." Anyway, I love his words a lot and also his face, so this is perfect. :)

Happy Friday! :)

Closer Than Ever

As soon as I resolve to be a more consistent writer, I go out of town for four days and forget my computer's power cord, without which it is useless, since it has a battery with the lifespan of...oh, I dunno, a chocolate cupcake at a 1-year-old's birthday party. Possibly less. But the wedding was tremendously wondrous, in fact the most beautiful I have ever been to. (This is not a slight to the other weddings I've seen, merely a reflection of the fact that my tastes happen to be much more similar to this particular bride than any of the other brides whose weddings I have attended. So, don't be jelz.)

I finished "Come Rack! Come Rope!" and I...*sigh*...I don't know. It was beautiful. Heartbreakingly beautiful.

I want to read it again already.

So I'm doing the next best thing, going back and reading all my highlights.

I could write posts and posts about this book. We'll start with this one. First, let me set the stage a little, while trying not to give anything major away (since I really hope at least one or two somebodys are reading it now):

Remember, Elizabethan England, Catholics are underground, priests are being banished the first time they're caught and killed the second. One of the main characters, a woman who organizes a great part of the underground, receives a letter summoning a priest to an extremely dangerous place to bring the Last Rites to a Catholic who's been condemned to death. The priest being summoned is one who is particularly close to her, one she has gone to great lengths to protect, and when she receives the letter, she considers for a moment destroying it and not telling the priest he's being called to a deathbed that will almost certainly end in death for him as well. As she considers this, she remembers how her own mother died without a priest:

"Then, in a great surge, her own heart rose up, and she understood what she was doing. As in a vision, she saw her own mother crying out for the priest that never came; and she understood that horror of darkness that falls on one who, knowing what the priest can do, knowing the infinite consolations which Christ gives, is deprived, when physical death approaches, of that tremendous strength and comfort. Indeed, she recognized to the full that when a priest cannot be had, God will save and forgive without him; yet what would be the heartlessness , to say nothing of the guilt, of one that would keep him away? For what, except that this strength and comfort might be at the service of Christ's flock, had her own life been spent? It was expressly for this that she had lived on in England when peace might be hers elsewhere; and now that her own life was touched, should she fail?...The blindness passed like a dream, and her soul rose up again on a wave of pain and exultation....
'Wait,' she said. 'I will go and awaken him, and bid him come down.'"

I know, I have goosebumps too.

Okay, first - this makes me want to pray even more than I already have for "a happy death." Or, in other words, a provided death - one where we are able to receive the Last Rites, one where we do not die alone in sin.

We ask for it in every Hail Mary, "Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death..."

St. Joseph, who died in the arms of Our Lord and Our Lady, is the patron of a happy death.

One of the promises of Our Lady to those who wear the Scapular is that they will not die an unprovided death.

It's the intention of the 4th Glorious Mystery, the Assumption of Our Lady, to ask for a holy death.

And believe me, when I read this part, I thought, I really need to pay more attention to this asking for a holy death.

Next, this entire book really increased my love and enthusiasm for the saints. If you knew me before, you might be wondering how that is EVEN possible, but trust me, it is. When I was between 7 and 9 years old, I think I read our little Ignatius Press St. Edmund Campion book about five times. At least. And when he turned up in this book, I felt like I was running into an old friend.

It reminded me of a conversation I had once with one of my dearest friends, Gina. (Actually, the one whose wedding I was just at!)

Gina and I were reflecting on the fact that I tend to be drawn towards saints who are not like me: pranking, joking, smoking male saints. Check it out:

Blessed Miguel Pro in disguise. Smoking.

Blessed Pier Giorgio, skiing. And smoking. 

They actually airbrushed the pipe out for his beautification picture. No, really, they did.

P.S. I hate pranks, I'm frequently accused of being too serious, I loathe smoking and I am definitely not male.

Gina herself has a special love for the Blessed Mother and St. Therese of Lisieux, among others, but personally I don't think they're very different from her at all. Then we realized: we don't have any siblings like the saints we are most drawn to.

I have lots of sisters, and only one younger brother, who neither pranks very often (smart move on his part) nor smokes. And he is definitely my younger brother and not my elder, as I have always felt my Pier Giorgio to be.

Gina has one older brother, and no sisters.

Our conclusion: God completes our families with His saints, showing us that His Body, His Family extend past the walls of our own homes or our own blood relations. In His saints we find those who faced the struggles we have, fought the battles we have, felt the sting of defeat in certain moments and yet won the final triumph. As I read earlier today, "A saint is a sinner who did not give up." Once when I was discussing why I'm Catholic with someone, a small part of my answer was that without the Church, I would lose my dearest friends. The saints are the friends who are with me always. Which reminds me of another part of the book I've been obsessing over here:

"He was nearer to her heart, in one manner, though utterly removed, in another. It was as when a friend was dead: his familiar presence is gone; but now that one physical barrier is vanished, his presence is there, closer than ever, though in another fashion..."

That is the saints. Closer now to Christ than they were in this life, and so closer to us, though in another fashion.

7 Quick Takes - Take 1

Trying something new here today - that is, new to me, old hat to the real bloggers out there. I'm linking up with Jennifer at Conversion Diary for this supah-FUN thing they call 7 Quick Takes, to give you a little window into whatev's going on this week. So...feel free to let me know what you think of the experiment.

#1. This:

So. I was browsing for a new book and thought Robert Hugh Benson sounded both familiar and trustworthy, and I love historical fiction, and the Kindle edition was to be all mine for the low low price of $0.00, so I thought awwww, heck, why not? But then it was a sloooow starter. I thought the beginning was cute and sweet, but I wasn't really getting into it. I mentioned the cute sweet beginning to Alex and he got really excited that I was reading it. He said something to the effect of, "Oh! That's a great book! What did you think of ________..." Fill in the blank with a Big Fat Spoiler. I was totally shocked and at first had NO intention of finishing but he talked me into it. Within about another chapter I encountered the Big Fat Spoiler for myself and was hooked on the book. Now I can barely put it down. ( I say barely because it MUST be put down for stuff like, oh, I dunno, WORK, otherwise I certainly would not. Put it down, that is.) Not only is it a really great book but it's also a very beautiful one. It's about the Catholic persecution under Queen Elizabeth, and let me tell you, when I walked boldly through the bright daylight to daily Mass yesterday without the smallest idea of my life being in danger because of it, I had a lot more gratitude than usual. Plus, the description of Mary Queen of Scots feels decidedly Chestertonian to me, and when I announced that to Alex he responded with the belief that they most likely knew each other. I therefore feel super validated in my opinion on that point. Y'all should read it, especially if you have a Kindle (or iPad with a Kindle app, like me). Like I said before, all yours for the low low price of $0.00. Just do it. I even put a link there. And here again. I'm serious. Just click it already. STAT.

P.S. I want to be Marjorie Manners when I grow up. Read the book, you'll see why.

#2. I read a lot of LifeSiteNews articles because that's Thee Best way to stay updated on the pro-life awesomeness people always expect me to know, as if I did it for a living or something. But this one was beyond incredible. I keep going back to it, I just love it. The Onufers are Beautiful People.

#3. I may not like Austin (I do not) but I do love me some Austen. Jane Austen, that is. And of all the Austen I love, I love Persuasion the most. Besides being Marjorie Manners (see #1) I want to be Anne Elliot when I grow up:

“When the evening was over, Anne could not but be amused at the idea of her coming to Lyme, to preach patience and resignation to a young man whom she had never seen before; nor could she help fearing, on more serious reflection, that, like many other great moralists and preachers, she had been eloquent on a point in which her own conduct would ill bear examination.” 

And the movies never do her justice. I have lost count of my re-readings of the book and I'm on either the 4th or 5th listen to my favorite version of the audiobook, the Audible Audio version done by Juliet Stevenson. Austen junkies: Juliet Stevenson plays Mrs. Elton in the Gwyneth Paltrow version of Emma and she is a BRILLIANT character actress, even if all you're getting is her voice. She has done several Austen books for Audible and they are all more than completely delightful. 

#4. So we have the mobile crisis pregnancy center at work, or, as we call it, the big blue bus. Our bus driver, Leo, is pretty much the unsung hero of the whole operation. Since I only occasionally work on the bus, I don't see him very often. I've been out there so much for 40 Days for Life though, we've had some quality time lately. He's a hoot, y'all. A real hoot. He's my Grandaddy's age, a hard working man if ever there was one, and the absolute salt of the earth. Not only does he drive the 40-foot-long-bus back and forth every day, but today he parallel parked it. Seriously. Like a boss. I asked him later if it was a 3-point-parking job and he said with his gravelly, Tex-Mex voice: "3-point? What's that?" I explained and he smirked. "Oh, yeah. I did that." He also builds benches out of PVC pipe, splices wires between generators and buses, and built the drawbridge of the bus. (It's really a ramp, but the little machine-y thing he built to raise and lower it makes me think of a drawbridge everysingletime sooo that's what I call it.) Today after the parallel parking epic-ness I also saw him moving this tremendous water barrel. As in, he picked it up out of the bed of his big ol' honkin' diesel truck, carried it over to a pile of other water barrels and set it down. I asked him how heavy it was and he shrugged. 

Leo: "Oh, maybe 55 gallons." 

Me: "Dang it, Leo! You should go to CrossFit, you'd put them to shame. 'Oh, 55 gallons, no big deal.'"

Leo, chortling: "Yeah. No biggie."

People like that, they keep the pro-life world going 'round.

#5. Moooovin' right along - here's your "Cultures of the World" class for today: I informed Alex once that the Texas flag was the best flag in the world, and my well-traveled sweetheart said slyly that he thought the Chilean flag must be equally good. Thanks to the extravagant amount of flag exposure I received at World Youth Day in Madrid, I was on to that nonsense like white on rice. In case you don't know what I'm talking about, let's play that "Spot the 6 Differences" game, except, you only have to spot one:

    

If you're Texan, and you don't know which is ours, I....can't even talk to you. 

Anyway, today he (Alex) brought me a gift that should give you a little hint about what YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW:

And the Texas/Chile jokes continue in the 

Hanson-pursues-Richardson courtship arena.

#6. This is brilliant: a liturgical year binder, which I am going to start putting together ASAP so it's ready to go when I actually (God willing) have kids someday. I am super psyched about it. I found the idea when it was posted by a guest blogger on my favorite blog EVER, Carrots for Michaelmas. Speaking of which, I really, really love Carrots for Michaelmas - the Amazing Haley is sweet, smart, and wildly funny. Also awesome. Go check it out.

#7. In case you missed the second point of #6: go check out Carrots for Michaelmas so you can fall in love too. They're putting out an eBook in November and I cannot WAIT to buy it because...it's a recipe book that uses real food and seasonal eating to celebrate the liturgical year (!!!!) aaand it will be awesome. I just know.

So, there it is, my first stab at 7 Quick Takes. Let me know what you think, and if I'm not feeling too redheaded I'll take it into consideration, *wink wink*.

I'm ba-a-ack. And, Introducing...

So. Been a while.

Okay, okay - I'm a terrible blogger. I'm trying to reform. Again. Maybe this time it will shhtick.

Anyhoo.

40 Days for Life is happening. Churches like to sponsor time at the end of 40 Days, so they have more time to get people signed up. And this is the beginning of 40 Days. So...been spending a lot of time on the sidewalk. Monday was about six hours on the sidewalk. Wednesday I was there from 7AM-2:30PM.

I wouldn't say I look forward to those kinds of days, but I appreciate them. They're really a profound experience: an entire day to pray. Exhausting, but definitely profound. One of my friends suggested I say Rosaries while meditating on different Scriptures instead of doing the original 20 Mysteries over and over (been there, done that), so I was trying the suggestion out. On Monday I ended up saying two entire Rosaries on Philippians 4:19. It was one of the most incredible prayer experiences of my life. Major spiritual high Monday evening.

But Wednesday night, I was Cranky. With a capital C.

Even after CrossFit.

Cranky that CrossFit can't fix is oh, So Cranky.

And the cranky was pointed at, unfortunately, my dear sweetheart.

I have mentioned him once or twice in the past. I'm not a big "mention"-er. I'm not what you'd call, *ahem*, sentimental.

I hear my family chuckling as they read this.

I'm so Not Sentimental, I'm one of those people who gets irritated with girls listening to sad break-up songs after a sad break-up. I get like this:

Not sentimental, that is, until I met Alex.

*sigh*...Alex.

Here, look:

One of my friends calls this: "The Ronald & Nancy Reagan picture." 

I kind of flipped over that.

Alex is...Alex. Everybody just loves him. If you don't love him, there's somethin' wrong wit yo head. I mean, I was kinda determined not to love him Ever EVER but...yeah. That did not work. I mean, how do you not fall in love with a guy who informs you at the beginning of a road trip that you will be praying 20 decades and then wants to sing the Salve Regina at the end. And then introduces you to Jeeves & Wooster.

So, as I was saying way up there, on Wednesday night I was cranky and stuff. He very cheerily chatted away on the phone (he's working in a different city) and after a while he says, "So, you have that tone..."

He listened to the snippy gripe with which I (am embarrassed to admit) I replied, apologized for the world in general and tried to cheer me up.

I didn't cooperate.

So, he went to Mass the next morning before work and prayed for me. And then sent me cutesy texts about how he loves me. In Norwegian. And Italian.

(Disclaimer, I don't speak Norwegian. Or Italian. But he does. Norwegian and Italian. And I speak Alex, which means I can piece together a cutesy-loves-me text even if it is partially Norwegian and kind of Italian.)

So, I defrosted a little bit and texted him that I was sorry for being cranky. I mean, really, how can you stay cranky with someone who goes to Mass for you at 6AM and then texts: "I love you...Jeg elsker deg...Te amo!"

I mean, really. Y'all.

SO I said sorry. And then he says he barely noticed, (riiiight) and went on to say he'd be offering all the day's annoyances so that Mary would send me a special spiritual grace.

Uhm...Did you hear that? Total defrost. My heart pretty much turned into a puddle.

(You too? I know, right?)

So then I headed to Planned Parenthood for today's 2 1/2 hour stint.

I was running late to replace the Lutheran church that was leaving at noon. I was worried about the sidewalk being empty, but when I arrived there was a couple - praying the Rosary - already standing there. They had arrived right when the Lutherans were leaving, and stayed until just after I came. They didn't even know they were coming, they said, but they dropped their son off nearby for an event and then decided at the last minute to come.

Well, I thought, I guess that was my special grace.

Not hardly.

Just after they left, another lady came, Rosary in hand. She hadn't planned on coming either, and then suddenly, there she was.

Wow. That was some prayer he said, I thought.

THEN, another car pulled up. Two men got out. Two young men. Two well-dressed young men.

Huh, that's funny. They sure look like they must be seminarians. But seminarians don't exactly "drop by" abortion facilities to pray around here.

They don't, y'all. Getting seminarians is practically like finding the gold at the end of a rainbow.

They walked up and introduced themselves. The taller of the two had a little pouch in his hand and started out with, "I don't want to disrupt your prayers..."

Funny again, they even talk like seminarians.

Guess what?

Seminarians.

And, big surprise but, they hadn't planned on coming until the last minute.

They came to say the Rosary.

And at the end, they sang the Salve Regina.

At that moment, I felt like someone was standing behind them holding a sign over their heads that said: "TODAY'S SPECIAL MARIAN GRACE, BROUGHT TO YOU BYYYYY: ALEX. "

No. Kidding.

Why am I telling you this?

(No, really, my family might be all like, uhh, why is she telling everybody this? Who is this person and where is not-sentimental Dorothy?)

First of all: we could use some help with 40 Days. No, seriously.

Secondly, because, if you're feeling cranky about something, call Alex.

Seriously: because he's wonderful, and I'm grateful for him, and I thought hey, what better way to get back into blogging than to talk about Alex? Mostly I don't blog anymore because of him anyway - I spend my former blogging time on the phone with him.

I'm kidding.

Sort of.

Finally, I know it's a privilege to be out on the sidewalk. I know people who wish they could go and can't. And I want you to know that even if you can't go, your prayers are invaluable. Come if you can. Please. But if you can't, then don't just do nothing. Pray for us. Pray hard.

And, all my single ladies - hold out for one of these (Irish ballad singing, Jeeves & Wooster reading, pipe-smoking, Norwegian-Italian-Spanish-Latin speaking) guys. Or one that seems equally epic to your own unique personality:

Because I really do not think that God meant for people to have less fun together than this.

I Will Not Be Distracted

So, as some of you may have noticed, yesterday I went to Austin to do something about HB2. 

3,543 people showed up at the Capitol to register their opinion. Over a thousand of those signed up to testify. A hundred of them were called in to actually testify. I was one of the hundred.

We got three minutes to testify. If you want to hear how I used my minutes, you can go here. I'm told you can find me at 6:24 in the video, which means I was about six and half hours into the 8 1/2 hour hearing. 

For some reason, a reporter with the Associated Press decided to use a line of my testimony in his article covering the hearing, and that article went to Fox News, CBS Houston, NPR, NBC, and (my personal favorite) the ever-liberal-loving-rag Huffington Post.

The line they used, with my name and the fact that I was representing the Houston Coalition for Life, was: 

"In this country, we've forgotten about a big law: 'Thou shall not kill.'"

The article was actually pretty ridiculous, but I did say that. (Sort of, I actually said "shalt" but whatever).

And since that article went out, there have been some questioning emails about where I (and HCL) stood on other issues. First it was the death penalty for criminals. Then there was one about the practices of our US military. (If I were allowing myself to be distracted from the matter at hand, namely, ABORTION, I might actually allow myself to get angry about that second matter in particular, because comparing our soldiers to abortionists is total garbage, and I couldn't say what I'd want to say about that kind of garbage anyway, because my mother would be humiliated that I even thought words like that, much less wrote them down.)

But, uh, excuse me - we're talking about ABORTION. That testimony was about ABORTION. And for the record, the clearly stated mission of HCL is "Ending ABORTION in Houston, peacefully and prayerfully."

Now, if you know me at all, you know I have opinions for just about everything. I have an opinion about the death penalty for criminals. I definitely do. 

I also have opinions about the American military. I most assuredly do. 

But, just to clarify - that testimony was, once more, about ABORTION.

I woke up at 3:30AM, rode to Austin, sat in the Capitol for 13 hours, and stood up in front of those Representatives, cameras, and thousands of viewers at 10PM because abortion is legal in Texas, and it shouldn't even be thinkable.

I did those things because there is nothing, NOTHING as horrific as the fact that in this country there is a billion-dollar industry being run over the dismembered bodies of tiny, innocent babies and the broken hearts of their mothers and fathers.

There are plenty of things I'd like to fix, change, institute, or encourage. But none of them, not a single one, are as gaping a wound in the body of this country as the wound of legal abortion. There is no fault as glaring as the fact that we allow precious pre-born children to be ripped limb from tiny limb because their desperate mothers have been deceived into thinking there is no other choice, and no-one to help them. There is no stain more black on our national conscience than the fact that even ONE irreplaceable, innocent child  pays for our comfort, convenience, ignorance, silence, and sloth with his or her LIFE. Even one child's death...and there are 4,000. 4,000, every single day. 

The question of the death penalty for criminals is a distraction.

And I refuse to be distracted.

I will not be distracted as my fellow human beings - tiny, innocent, precious children - are flushed from their mothers' wombs by toxic chemicals, sucked out by razor-lined vacuums, ripped out by medical instruments while they feel the pain of that procedure, or born alive only to have their heads twisted off before they're left in buckets on facility floors until they're shipped off to be incinerated with medical waste. Legally.

I will not be distracted until this is not only illegal, but unthinkable.

I will not be distracted because if we don't get this right, we can't get anything right. It will be impossible to know how to treat criminals and enemies of state if we do not clearly know how to treat our own most innocent and defenseless citizens.

I beg you not to be distracted when people tear your witness for the unborn out of context to further their own distracting chatter. I guarantee those most opposed to us know clearly why we are here - to be a voice for the profoundly voiceless. We must make sure we know it too.

Do I have an opinion about the death penalty for criminals? Yes. But more important than my opinions, I have a mission: the protection and defense of my unborn brothers and sisters, and the assistance of their families in crisis.

I will not be distracted.

“This is my song, O God of all the nations,

A song of peace for lands afar and mine.

This is my home, the country where my heart is;

Here are my hopes, my dreams, my sacred shrine.

But other hearts in other lands are beating,

With hopes and dreams as true and high as mine.

This is my prayer, O Lord of all earth's kingdoms:

Thy kingdom come; on earth Thy will be done.

Let Christ be lifted up till all shall serve Him,

And hearts united learn to live as one.

O hear my prayer, Thou God of all the nations;

Myself I give Thee, let Thy will be done.”

- Lloyd Stone

Sunflowers. Or: the Perfection of Desire

Earlier this week, I felt Christmas stirring around in my heart.

I mean, it's June, so obviously that would happen, right?

If you don't know what I mean by that, I'm afraid I really have no idea how to explain it to you. I even forget what verse or quote first did it several days ago, but it happened again today, when we got to the line in the readings: "And God has visited His people."

There it was again: Christmas stirring in my heart.

In other news: recently I have been wanting sunflowers. This is not totally random: when my out-of-town sweetheart comes to visit me, he stays with some dear (and very generous) friends. The lady of the house likes sunflowers, and we like giving them to her -  as often as she'll let us - to thank her. Shopping for sunflowers drew my attention to a flower I hadn't thought much about. So when some unusual and very big green bushes started stretching taller on the side of a trail I love to walk, it vaguely occurred to me that they might be sunflowers. Then, I started wishing they might possibly be sunflowers. Suddenly I was outright praying they would, in fact, be sunflowers - taller than my head, covered in golden blooms, and too numerous to count. I could see it in my mind. I even told Alex (the aforementioned sweetheart) that I wanted them to be sunflowers when we passed them on one of our walks.

After that, it was An Official Thing. The shrubs needed to be sunflowers. Alex called once to tell me he'd passed some familiar looking leaves that were actually topped with my desired sunny buds. Soon after, when I went for one of my "checks," there were actually tight little buds...completely closed and totally green. A few days later he reminded me we'd need to go check on "my" plants that weekend, to see if they had any open blooms of their own. When we did, they were still tight green bumps.

"Please be sunflowers. Please be sunflowers," I would beg them, every time I passed either the bushes themselves or any sunflowers I saw elsewhere, as if my own personal wish would transform the genetic make-up of a few little bushes.

Then, between nephews, bad weather, and being out of town, I didn't see them for a few weeks.

When I had a chance I set off to the trail - with a bit of trepidation. There were perfectly sunny sunflowers flowering all up and down the highways. If those shrubs weren't golden by now, they might never be.

The little bushes were hidden at the end of a trail by trees. I got closer and realized they were taller. Much taller.

Closer...wow. Taller.

And then, there they were.

Sunflowers.

Some were even up to my shoulders. There were dozens of glowing yellow blooms.

I was so happy. Beyond happy, I was completely delighted.

"Not taller than my head, but it's ok!" I was so excited that I had wanted sunflowers and now, here they were. I had waited, and they had appeared.

It struck me then, something St. Therese said:

"God cannot inspire unrealizable desires."

Those were sunflowers all along. God knew that. He put them there, the plan for those flowers, and then right alongside the seeds He planted a desire for them in my heart: a desire He already had a plan to satisfy. Not only to delight my heart, though - no, I'm convinced that it delighted His Heart as well. He was putting those sunflowers there, and I like to think it brought Him joy to see me rejoicing in His gift. The sunflowers were going to be there. I got to be the person who wanted them. Then He got to be the One Who gave them to me.

After a few more weeks of nephews, some bad weather, and being out of town, my mom came in from a walk and asked if I'd seen them lately. She gave a rave review so I headed out today to check them again.

I came from the other side this time, not a peek at my flowers until I had turned the corner right on top of them. It was still overcast after a heavy rain - you know how colors glow in that light.

They had spread. Higher. Wider. Yards of them, hundreds of them. Taller than my head. Lining the sides of the sloping trail, stretched out in front of me. I stood and stared at them, stunned. 

Better than I could possibly have imagined.

Then, I started giggling ridiculously, and scurried over to the closest giant. I reached up and pulled a bloom down to my eye level for a closer examination. 

Glorious. 

I stepped back again, and after a few moments, I sat down. Sat down on the damp, gravel-covered slope in my yoga pants. Sat there, God and I, staring at our sunflowers. Mine because I waited for them, His because He made them. We looked at them, and told each other how marvelous they were, and how sweet it was to look at them together.

Of course this was a perfect chance to reflect on how God fulfills my desires, the real, deep, true desires I see in my heart when I am quiet and "bide a wee" with Him. He satisfies them, quenches them, more profoundly then I could have hoped.

It also got me thinking about Advent, and waiting, and some of the many wonderful conversations I have had with my dear friend, Katie. One of the conclusions we have reached together is: when God makes us wait for something, He is perfecting our desires. (I have a whole blog post I've meant to write for about a year on that. Perhaps eventually I actually will.) We have noticed that when God does not give us something at the exact moment we want it, but instead appears to "delay," by the time we receive a gift from Him our desire for it has become purified, more intense.

If I were to get every thing I wanted the very instant I wanted it, I would think I was only getting what I deserved. When God leads me through waiting to examine my desires, turn them over to Him, and grow closer to Him through my longing, I am able to receive His answers as what they are: pure gifts. Waiting perfects my desire, then my gratitude for the gift is also more pure - and gratitude is a humbling, sanctifying thing.

"Saweet Story!" - In Which My Sister Is Awesome. Go Figure.

So, I was preparing a collection of miscellany for you, which will be out eventually. However, in the midst of my collecting, I was interrupted by an explosion of amazingness which emanated from the direction of my sister Martha. In fact, all of my sisters are quite brilliant, each in their own way. Therefore, this, please note, was not at all unusual.  However, this one was especially EPIC and I made her type it up for me so she could be my very first guest poster! Buckle up, folks - this gal is Big News. I couldn't resist throwing in a few random comments (in bold italics) when she gets particularly mind-blowingly brilliant, because...it's my blog and I can do what I want and I don't want you to risk missing the mind-blowing-ness of her brilliance.

In case you haven't seen lately, this is her:

I know, right? 

We're referring to the other lady simply as "Nurse" for her privacy.

P.S. If you don't know what a medical abbreviation means - don't ask me. I don't know all this smarty stuff. I just know she's brilliant. So, look it up or find Martha.

Anyway. Commence the explosion:

----------------------------------------------------

For my mission trip to El Salvador I am required to get as many necessary vaccines as possible (Ex. Hep A. Hep B, Varicella, etc.). But because of our awesome Mom I know that, as a Catholic, I am morally obligated to refuse some of them due to the fact that they contain aborted fetal cells. There are some special circumstances where exceptions are acceptable, but now is not one of them.

So I go into Kelsey Seybold for my foreign travel vaccinations because my PCP doesn't have some of the required vaccines.

Thinking that I was going to have to argue with the nurse about what vaccines to get I was slightly irritated.

Before my appointment time I was told to bring in any previous vaccination paperwork.

After being called back the following interaction transpired:

I could tell the nurse was having a long day and her attitude... Well, lets just say she was slightly peeved.

So I was trying to be un-irritatingly cheery (Dad does that when people are upset, and 10 out of 10 times he gets 'em to smile.) True Story, y'all.

Nurse - "Where's your paperwork?"

Me - "I don't have any."

Nurse - "Yes, you do. Childhood vaccinations! You have those records. You have to."

Me - "I was never vaccinated as a child. I've only received Meningitis vaccine for school and only my PCP needs that so I didn't bring it in."

Nurse - "Oh. You were never vaccinated? Strange."

Hoping she would ask why I anxiously waited to answer questions because I have A LOT of answers! But... She didn't.

Nurse - "The front desk didn't give you anything to fill out?"

Me - "No Ma'am"

Now, she was really peeved... So I was super chill and filled out the paperwork. (No lie, she is super chill.)

She put a few things in the computer and found out I was doing this for missionary work and she loosened up a bit.

So, then we started going over each vaccination and why I needed to receive each one. I refused the first four and she still had not asked why I was refusing them. I was tired of waiting! So I hit her with it:

Me - "I'm Catholic."

Nurse - "Oh! Me too!"

Me - "Oh, so you know why I'm refusing these?"

Nurse - "No, actually..."

Me - "When I was little my Mom did a lot of research to try and determine the Church teaching on vaccinations. 

She discovered that some of them came from and contain aborted fetal cell tissue. So that's why I'm refusing some of these."

Nurse - "No, no they don't."

Me - "Actually, they do. The cultures for the vaccine came from two babies. MRC-5 and WI-38. (Y'all, she knew that OFF THE TOP OF HER HEAD.) Many other aborted babies were used for the testing as well."

Nurse - "Where did she get that information from? How old is that?"

Me - "You can just look it up on the internet. It's at least 26 yrs old 'cause that's how old my oldest sister is."

Nurse - "Wow. I can't believe that!"

Me - "It's pretty crazy."

Nurse - "I've been a nurse for 37 yrs and I go to [Mass] every Sunday, and I have never heard that before."

Me - "Yeah, the Church has a teaching on it, there are some exceptions to the rule but generally these particular vaccines needs to be avoided."

Feeling proud of myself for giving her this information, God put me back in place when she started telling me this:

Nurse - "Ya know, my mother died from an abortion."

My heart sank.

Me - "Oh, I'm so sorry."

Nurse - "And my daughter had an abortion when she was 19 and I regret it to this day."

Me - "Oh, God... (At this point I was praying)

Nurse - "We were going through alot of stuff at the time, my Dad was really sick and I just didn't think she could handle it. But that was 10 yrs ago. I still think about it every day."

At this point I'm trying not to cry. 3 out of 4 people in her family who've been involved in an abortion have died: her mom, her sibling, and her grandchild. 75%. Those aren't good odds.

Me - "Ohhh, I'm so sorry."

Nurse - "I talk with my husband all the time and He always says 'God has forgiven us, just move on.' But I can't... It just breaks my heart."

Me - "I can't imagine, what that's like. You know, my sister works at the Houston Coalition for Life...

(excuse me, but - DUDE! She's being totally brilliant and I was in her mind at the same time as all this amazingness! I was way honored when she told me) 

....and they have a bus sitting outside of Planned Parenthood on I-45. And I've learned a lot from her working there. (!!!!) And I think because you were going through such a hectic time and the reasons you and your daughter had the abortion you didn't have time to grieve for the baby. You are grieving now. But one of the beauties of being Catholic is Confession. That is a really important part of the grieving process that you're experiencing right now. And I also think you should sit down with your daughter and talk about what happened."

Nurse - "We actually have talked about it and I told her that if she had told me even once that she didn't want to have the abortion, we wouldn't have done it. But because she was... well essentially she was raped, I just didn't think she could deal with that... So we didn't talk about it then."

Me - "Well, I think its good that you've discussed it. You know there's a cemetery..."

Nurse - "Yes, the Cemetery for the Unborn. Yes, I go there all the time. I take flowers. So does my daughter. I don't know how often, but..."

Me - "That's good, I'm glad you're doing that, I think it's so awesome that they have that cemetery there for people to be able to do that. You could also think about naming the baby, too. I think that's a really great way to sort of have something concrete to hold on to and grasp whenever you're thinking about it."

Nurse - "Yeah, yeah, well she's married now and has two kids. But there's not a day that goes by when I don't think about what we could have done differently."

Me - "Well it sounds like you're trying! That's important, so keep trying."

Then she told me about her two other daughters and her son. (She was "selling" her son, haha!) I got to see pictures of children and grandchildren.

My appointment took 1 1/2 hrs and it should have taken 20-45 minutes.

I got my Typhoid vaccine and she told me to come back from my mission with pictures so she could see them.

And we went our separate ways.

We both started out frustrated and both left emotionally exhausted but smiling. I just think it's such a crazy story!!

----------------------------------------------------

So, there you have it. My Mart being an absolutely brilliant example of what pro-lifers need to be: compassionate, informed, reasonable, gentle, eager to share the truth, all while being humble. 

Also a brilliant example of what Catholics need to be: compassionate, informed, reasonable, gentle, eager to share the truth, all while being humble.

She makes me proud. She also makes me want to try harder to be all of the those things, too.

'Nuff said.

What you need to be Smart like Mart (provided by Mart, notes by Mart):

1. http://www.cogforlife.org/fetalvaccinetruth.htm (General Website)

2. http://www.cogforlife.org/fetalvaccinetruth.htm#The_Abortions_and_Intention_of_Creating_Vaccines_ (Specific Page MAIN ARTICLE)

3. http://www.cogforlife.org/fetalvaccines.htm (Great Chart!)

4. http://www.cogforlife.org/2011/01/01/religious-conscience-aborted-fetal-vaccines/ (Extra Article)

5. http://vactruth.com/2010/09/20/aborted-human-fetal-cells-in-vaccines/ (Extra Article)